In the cases I have analysed, I identified various ways in which childhood trauma manifests and influences abusive, violent, and coercive behaviours, both in youth and adulthood. This demonstrates that these patterns are not limited to juvenile offences; they also extend to adult perpetrating.

In every case of criminal or abusive behaviour, there is an underlying wound, an environmental influence from childhood, that shapes how an individual interacts with the world and their relationships. Whether it is:

• A fear of humiliation,
• A fear of abandonment, or
• Exposure to deep insecurities

These unresolved wounds often lead to undesirable coping mechanisms that become reinforced over time. As these behaviours are repeated, a sense of entitlement grows, escalating into coercive control, violence, and normalised patterns of abuse within society.

Without identifying and addressing the root causes of such behaviour early on, before it becomes reinforced and unmanageable, we will continue to see tragic cases like those analysed above.

Personal Reflections: The Impact of Trauma on Generations

When I reflect on my father’s and my ex-partners childhood experiences, their coercive control, violent outbursts, and aggression no longer come as a surprise.

My father's childhood was far from pleasant. He grew up witnessing extreme domestic violence, his father dragging his mother down the stairs by her hair, beating her, and forcing my father, as a child, to run to the police station for help at the age of 6. His father was an alcoholic, but his mother also had a deep-seated hatred for women. She saw herself as a "ladies' man" and was intensely jealous and controlling. She despised my mother, me, and any female influence in my father’s life.

One of my father’s biggest regrets was being forbidden by his mother from pursuing an opportunity to play rugby for England. She refused to let him leave home, unwilling to relinquish control. This unresolved resentment and loss became a defining part of his personality, but not in a good way.

The cloud of terror and uncertainty he lived under was the same cloud he forced my mother, my siblings, and me to live under.

There is no denying my grandmother was not a nice person to be around, let alone live with, although there is evidence to suggest both parties were as toxic as each other, it did not justify violence.

Like my father, my ex-paartner also experienced a difficult childhood. His father abandoned the family for a whole new life after having an affair and this woman falling pregnant, leaving his mother to raise him and his siblings alone with zero financial support. This created deep wounds, particularly a profound sense of abandonment and a lack of self worth.

Growing up in a single-parent household brought him immense shame. He was ridiculed at school and suffered abuse, including being locked in a broom cupboard at school and locked in his bedroom for an entire weekend as punishment at home. His mother also beat him with a stick. He got into frequent fights and used drugs from a young age.

By the time he entered relationships, he was already displaying controlling and coercive tendencies. He gained control through fear and intimidation, as it was the only way he knew how to manage his deep-seated insecurities and wounds. This became apparent as the stories he would tell me about his ex-partners which positioned him as the victim, were the same stories he would tell others about me once he lost control.

In both my father’s and ex-husband’s cases, they hated the idea of being like their fathers, yet they both turned out to be far worse and far more dangerous. Even though their fathers were removed from their lives at the age of six, I believe the impact of what they were exposed to at such a young age was worsened by the emotional detachment and the continued abuse they experienced from their mothers throughout the remainder of their developmental years.

This is why I place so much emphasis on the importance of having at least one emotionally safe parent. And this is where systems need to step in and provide appropriate support.